


The Zahhaks

by kaybee



Series: A Year In The Life [11]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Humanstuck, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2019-07-10 13:05:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15949940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaybee/pseuds/kaybee
Summary: Equius and Horuss are not very popular. Maybe it's because of their disdain for those "socially lower" than them. Maybe it's because of their strict father. But whatever the reason, it certainly makes relationships difficult.





	1. Hospitals

                 It shouldn’t have been a dreary day. It was the middle of summer. But what made it so melancholy was the same thing that made every other Sunday melancholy. Equius and Horuss were in the hospital visiting their mother. It was always so quiet, her heart monitor’s beeping being the only sound in the room. Equius was aware that his father had stepped out of the room, discussing something with her doctors, as he’d been doing more and more frequently. The bills were getting high, even for a family as rich as them, since she’d been on life support for almost two years. It was beginning to make Equius nervous; he had a feeling his dad was getting close to pulling the plug. Horuss usually at least talked to their mother, regardless of the fact that she was cognizant of actually zero percent of what was happening, but that day he was silent, likely with similar thoughts taxing his mind. Horuss was always so hard to read, always putting on this front that everything was fine. Even then, as he stood in the hospital room, Horuss was smiling. Equius truly didn’t know what to make of it, as the situation was clearly somewhat dire. After another moment, their father re-entered the room.  
            “Say goodbye to your mother, boys. We must go.”  
            Equius just glanced at his mother, reaching out for her hand. She was colder than he was, though her heart still beat.

           

            His mother wasn’t the only thing on Equius’ mind that day. He’d also been thinking about a friend of his. Well, really she was the friend of a friend of a friend. He’d never been particularly close to most of the people he hung out with at school, but Nepeta was much more social than he, and of course he got dragged into all kinds of things. That was how he met Aradia, and just as they were finishing eighth grade a couple months ago, he began thinking of her in a different way. After taking a logical look at his feelings, he determined that the feelings he was having was a crush. Of course, his best friend Nepeta was much more well versed in the realm of romance than he was, and of course, he’d been too embarrassed to consult with her about it. Not embarrassed of having a crush, but rather, embarrassed of _who_ he had a crush on. Aradia and her family, they were just so…low. So, no, Equius hadn’t told anyone yet, not even Nepeta. Speaking of Nepeta, he hadn’t talked to her at all that day. It felt unnatural. Despite their differences, they were very much attached, and during school, you’d almost never see the one without the other. But during the summer, Equius was kept busy and Nepeta had her family. Equius slid his phone out of his pocket, ignoring the silent glare his father was giving him from the front passenger’s seat.

 

centaursTesticle [CT] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC]

 

  CT: Good afternoon, Nepeta.  
CT: I hope you are having a pleasant time with your family.  
AC: hi equius!!  
AC: i was just pawndering if id hear from you today!  
CT: Yes, well, as you’re aware, I’ve been kept quite busy with programs my father insists on enrolling me in every summer.  
AC: i knowwwwww  
AC: ive hardly seen you!  
AC: *ac pouts a bit*  
CT: None of that.  
CT: You know it’s not my fault.  
AC: you could just tell you dad you dont WANT to go to hockey camp or whatever nonsense hes running you ragged with  
AC: you big dumb stinky butt  
CT: Nepeta, please, we have talked about this.  
CT: My father is quite controlling.  
CT: He will not cotton well to me resisting.  
CT: And it is archery class in the summer.  
AC: pfft you suck at archery  
CT: No.  
AC: yes  
CT: No.  
AC: yes  
CT: No.  
AC: yes  
CT: No I don’t.  
AC: yesssss yes yes yes  
AC: have you ever even successfully fired an arrow?  
AC: like actually got one to leave the bow??  
AC: what the hell is that about?  
CT: Nepeta, what did I say about that awful language?  
AC: oops  
AC: sorry :(  
CT: Your fraternization with the lower class has loosened your morals, can’t you see this?  
AC: but it doesnt matter!  
AC: most of my tossed-together family IS what youd define as lower class  
AC: i guess you think karkat is, anyway  
CT: Yuck.  
CT: Don’t pollute my incoming data stream with his name.  
AC: i don’t understand why you dislike him so much!  
AC: sure he is cranky, but i think he is fun!  
AC: he even plays silly purrtend games with me, even if in a grumpy and insincere way  
AC: which is more than i can say for YOU, sweatquius :P  
CT: We will never agree about him, it seems.  
AC: yes, it DOES seem  
AC: hes not as bad as you seem to think  
CT: i think he is a negative influence on you, and you don’t know any better.  
CT: Which is why I am here to look out for you.  
AC: ahahaha, no  
AC: everyone knows youre a creep and a weirdo  
AC: which is why YOURE lucky to have ME to keep an eye on YOU  
CT: I do not need you to keep an eye on me, or any of our supposed friends.  
AC: but  
AC: they ARE our furriends  
AC: i was even thinking of joining terezi and vriskers and i guess eridan when they play dnd  
CT: The thought of you fraternizing with and abetting those hooligans strikes me as scandal beyond measure.  
CT: I’m afraid you’re too delicate to withstand that sort of corruption.  
CT: It’s forbidden.  
AC: nuh uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
CT: Yes.  
CT: You won’t.  
AC: no  
AC: i will  
CT: You won’t.  
AC: you cant stop me!  
CT: I am telling you not to.  
AC: blllllllraaaaaaawwwllrrrrghggghghgh

arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

 

            “Who are you talking to?” Horuss asked, leaning over from the other seat.  
            “Nepeta.”  
            “I don’t understand how you can be such good friends with one of such low standing,” their father muttered from the front seat.  
            “I don’t see why you take issue with my friendship, but not with Horuss’ friendship with the older Ms. Leijon, nor his relationship with Mr. Nitram, who comes from a family of an unquestionably lower status,” Equius answered, his voice deadpan. Horuss wilted a bit, sinking in his seat, lest he be bereaved by their father. Instead, the discussion was once again replaced by silence as their chauffeur-slash-butler, Aurthour, drove them to the same upscale restaurant they went to every night after visiting Mother. Mr. Zahhak was nothing if not a master of routine. Their meal was just as tense as their drive had been. After a while, Mr. Zahhak spoke.  
            “Session at Skaia High begins tomorrow. I expect both of you to be ready to leave the house with Aurthour by 7:30 AM. Should I hear that either of you are late, or any issues arise from your teachers, consequences will be swift.”  
            “Yes, sir,” both Equius and Horuss answered in unison. Equius chose against mentioning the fact that he’d never attended Skaia High and was bound to get lost at least once. There was no point in upsetting his father, especially since it did not seem like things were going well with Mother. And the matter of his crush was weighing greatly on Equius’ mind. He was going to see her at school tomorrow, without a doubt, and he needed advice. But somehow, he didn’t think Nepeta would understand his internal conflict about it. With any luck, another friend would. A friend he just so happened to be neighbors with. And she just so happened to be on her way out as Equius returned home.

            “Hey Eq,” Vriska said, notably missing her typical grin.  
            “Hello, Miss Serket. I have a question for you.”  
            “Ok, shoot.”  
            There was a reason he was asking Vriska, of all people. It wasn’t because they were particularly close; it was because she dealt with a similar situation of romance and class disparity. “Well, there seems to be something of a relationship between you and Mr. Nitram, correct?” Perhaps this was not the right thing to say, as Vriska suddenly looked quite angry.  
            “And what business is that of yours?”  
            “I am only asking because… people of our social standing—you and me, I mean… it is just. Oh fiddlesticks.”  
            “Spit it _out,_ Zahhak.”  
            “Do you have difficulties acknowledging your feelings for someone of such a low social standing?” Vriska paused for a moment, and Equius could feel her cold judgement. That wasn’t an uncommon feeling from Vriska. And then she laughed derisively.  
            “Do yo uactually believe the classist garbage that comes out of your mouth, or is this just a load of shit? Look, just because we have money and big houses and stuff doesn’t mean _anything._ If you like someone and they’re, like ‘low-class’ or whatever, who cares!” Equius sighed a bit. It wasn’t quite the advice he was looking for. But even though they were of high social-standing, the Serkets weren’t exactly well-mannered, so it didn’t come as much of a surprise. “So who is it?”  
            Of course she would ask. “Uh… it’s Miss Droog.”  
            “Hm. Interesting.”  
            “Do you have any… advice?”  
            “Why don’t you fucking ask Nepeta? She’s _way_ better at this romance stuff than me.” Equius felt his face blush a bit. Nepeta would only admonish him for taking societal placements so seriously. “Besides, it’s not like that with me and Tavros. Just talk to her.”  
            “Very well. But might I remind you that you do owe me a favor?” He was speaking, of course, of the enhanced prosthetic he’d provided for her after her arm got amputated. Sadly there was nothing he could do to fix her eye.  
            “ _Fine,”_ Vriska admitted through grit teeth. “If shit goes south, I’ll help. But for now, I gotta go.” Equius nodded as Vriska walked off, and he went into his own house, immediately heading upstairs into his room. His backpack was already packed and his books set out for the morning, so there was nothing left to prepare. He glanced over at his desk, unfinished projects awaiting his attention, but instead of continuing on his robotics, he pulled out a sketchbook from an often-neglected drawer and began sketching, to calm his nerves. The first day of school was always an event. Something was bound to go wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm equius is gonna be a toughy to write tbh also sorry for the wait my life has been eternally in limbo lmao


	2. Inseparable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Equius' first day at Skaia High

             Equius was ready at 7:30, as he’d been instructed. Horuss stood beside him, wearing his fake smile.   
            “Why do you do that?” Equius asked, scoffing a bit at his brother.  
            “What?”  
            “Smile all the time? It seems to me that pretending to be happy will only make matters worse.”  
            “Meulin said that if I try hard enough to be happy, I will be.”  
            Equius began to say something, but refrained. Horuss’ friendship with Meulin was very similar to Equius’ with Nepeta. If Meulin gave him advice, Horuss was bound to take it, no matter how silly it seemed. After another moment, Aurthour entered the room, scurrying past the boys to open the front door for them.  
            “The car is waiting, young sirs,” he said, giving a small bow as the two boys walked past him.

 

            The school was not quite empty, but not quite as busy as Equius had expected it to be when they arrived. In fact, there was still half an hour until the first class started, according to the schedule he glued to the inside of his agenda book. Now was as good a time as any to talk to the art teacher. Room A34. Equius took a small breath and hoisted his backpack up, doing his best to follow the map to A34. Luckily, he found it fairly quickly, and Miss Broughton was in there getting some of her papers together. Equius poked his head through the door, knocking lightly as he entered. She looked up at him and gave a soft smile.  
            “Hello, aren’t you a bit early?”  
            “Miss Broughton, correct?”  
            “Yes.”  
            “My name is Equius Zahhak, I—”  
            “Oh, Darius’ boy, right?” Equius nodded. “So. What can I help you with this morning.”  
            “You see, I was very interested in taking an art class with you this year. However, I was unable to fit something into my schedule.” And his father wouldn’t approve, but that didn’t seem worth mentioning for the moment. “I was hoping I may be able to use the art space after school hours?”  
            Miss Broughton tapped her pen against her chin thoughtfully. “Hm. Well, you’re in luck. I do have an afterschool club next door. Since I won’t be leaving campus until after hours anyway, I suppose I can leave the studio available for you. Clubs don’t start right away, though, so you’ll have to be patient as faculty gets started these first couple weeks.”  
            “I understand. You have my gratitude.”  
            “Gosh, you Zahhaks. So _formal._ Loosen up a bit!” Equius wasn’t sure how to respond to that. Perhaps he _could_ be a little uptight. But that was his father’s doing. Miss Broughton just laughed a bit as Equius tried to put on a smile. “Alright, don’t force yourself. The bell is about to ring, though, so I will see you around, Equius.” Equius nodded again and then left the room, immediately hearing someone calling his name.  
            “Equiusssssss!” He recognized the voice and prepared for her pounce. As expected, Nepeta leapt towards his back and he caught her, giving her a piggy-back ride.  
            “Ah, Nepeta, I hardly think this is appropriate.”  
            “Oh, don’t be such a party-pooper. What were you doing in the art room?”  
            “I was discussing with Miss Broughton about potentially using the studio after school hours. Unfortunately, I was not able to fit an art class into my schedule, but she has been kind enough to accommodate me.”  
            “Good thing, too, that way nobody will have to smell your sweaty butt,” Nepeta said with a laugh. Equius carried her on his back all the way to their English class. He and Nepeta were lucky enough to have matching schedules. Good for him, as he had difficulties socializing, and good for her, since he knew she needed help with academics sometimes. English passed, and then they went to history, where Vriska smirked at them upon their arrival.  
            “Oh, heyyyyyyyy, it’s the ambiguously dating duo,” she said. Equius refrained from rolling his eyes.  
            “Vriska, please. Humorous insincerity is for pedantic children.”  
            “I know. You never make jokes. I was being sarcastic, you stooge.”  
            “That’s because you’re a little worse than me.”  
            “The fuck I am! Anyway. Hey! Did you talk to Aradia at all yet?” Right. That. Equius flushed a bit.  
            “Keep your voice down,” he urged her. Nepeta was not aware of the situation as of yet, but it certainly got her attention. “Oooh, Equius, what’s this about Aradia?”  
            Equius sighed a bit. “I may… have…a bit of a…”  
            “Do you have--!” Nepeta stopped herself from asking too loud and dropped her voice to a whisper. “Do you have a crush on Aradia?”  
            Equius blushed even more. “Y-yes.”  
            “Ahh! I need to update my ships,” she said, flipping her notebook to a blank page.

           

            After History was Biology. Equius and Nepeta sat up at a lab station, only to be met by Eridan moments later, joining the two of them without even asking. All he’d said was, “hey guys,” before sitting, and while for all intents and purposes, Equius should have respected Eridan and gotten along well with him (they both resided in the upper echelons of Skaian society and since wealth and social class were the only things Equius’ father thought mattered, it only made sense that they rubbed elbows with the Amporas and Peixeses), Equius really didn’t care for Eridan. Most people didn’t, really. Equius and Nepeta’s fourth period class was Geometry, and then they went to lunch, joining the rest of their friends at a rather large table. Nepeta got caught up in a conversation with Feferi, and Equius just mulled over the lunch Aurthour had packed for him. His father wasn’t much of a cook, so it was usually just sandwiches that he or Aurthour had pre-prepared, and some snacks. They had a cook, for dinners, of course, but Aurthour took care of a lot of random tasks around the house, and apparently that included Equius’s and Horuss’s lunches. Equius truly wasn’t paying much attention to the conversation of his chattering friends.  
            “Anybody have Geometry after this?” Sollux asked.  
            “Mm, no, I have P.E.,” Aradia murmured, and Equius’ heart pounded. He, too, had P.E., and just sharing a class with her that allowed him to even speak with her… it was too much to imagine. Despite sharing a friend group, he and Aradia rarely talked. And of course they just walked together, along with Nepeta, and Equius found himself barely able to form words. They went into the gym, and Nepeta immediately pulled out her notebook and began doodling, rather than give her attention to the P.E. teacher.  
            “Nepeta, focus,” he nudged her. It was not wholly a matter of chiding her; rather, he was simply trying to take his mind off his own concerns.  
            “Equius, it’s _fine._ It’s syllabus day, and also gym class! It’s not like we’re going to be tested on this.”  
            “Yes, but she is discussing safety protocol for our daily workouts. You should listen.”  
            “You’re no fun.”  
            “I would simply loathe for you to hurt yourself because you were too busy drawing to take the lecture to heart. What is that, anyway?” he asked, craning his neck to see.  
            “It’s nothing!” Nepeta scrambled to hide the page from him, but he caught a glimpse anyway.  
            “Is that you and Vantas?”  
            “…purrhaps.”  
            “Such wishful thinking.”  
            “Equius!! Don’t be rude. You never know what could happen.”  
            “Yes, but…” Equius paused, thinking over his comment, then decided against vocalizing his opinion. Nepeta was well aware of what he thought of Karkat, but there was no persuading her. She frowned at him.  
            “You don’t have to say it, Equius,” she murmured at him, and he was glad he caught himself.  
            “I just don’t want you to get hurt…”  
            “You’re such a sap!” Nepeta said, but she was smiling at him again.

 

            The last class of the day was Spanish. Equius found that Vriska yet again shared a class with him, and to much less disdain, Sollux, as well. Equius glanced towards Nepeta as she gauged the room, and then followed her to a couple of free desks near Sollux.  
            “Hi Pawlux!” Nepeta said cheerfully.  
            “Good afternoon, Mr. Captor,” Equius greeted him as well.  
            Sollux merely waved at Nepeta, then leaned forward in his seat to meet Equius’ eye line. “Hey, EQ. Hey, are we ever gonna collaborate?”  
            “On a… technological project?” It was true that Equius had thought about it; Sollux was good with the actual coding of projects, whereas Equius was good with engineering and assembly.  
            “Yeah, I could give your robots better AI or something. I dunno. Message me.”  
            “Yes, that seems like it could prove an interesting project.”

 

            As Equius left the school for the day and joined up with Horuss, it occurred to him that he had not seen his brother for the entire day. They went their own way, but Equius was aware that Horuss went to meet up with his boyfriend, Rufioh Nitram, and he was looking a bit morose as they climbed into the back of the car Aurthour had waiting for them. Equius was half-tempted to ask what was wrong, but then Horuss put on that big fake smile again. He couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in his brother’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> esgfuis i just wanna finish this series :[


	3. Relationships Are Perilous Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Equius worries too much about his crush

            The first few weeks of school occurred without much incident to speak of. That was, until Equius started noticing Homecoming posters going up. He still hadn’t made any attempts to talk to Aradia, but maybe this would be an opportunity. Maybe if he asked her to the dance, they would connect there. But what if she said no? What kind of embarrassment would that be? And worse, if word got to the teachers, and then his father… Equius knew he needed consulation before doing anything, so he asked the one person he knew he could always count on: Nepeta.  
            He broached the subject while they were in the library studying. “Nepeta, are you aware of the upcoming Homecoming dance next month?”                       “Yeah! That kid from Adventure Club mentioned it.” Right. Jake something, in that club Nepeta had dragged Equius along to. His distaste for the activity wasn’t the subject at hand, though.  
             “I am… considering asking Aradia to the dance with me.” Nepeta’s sharp look upward, eyes wide with excitement was enough to make Equius regret even bringing it up. “OH MY GOD. Equius, you have to!!!” she said, earning them both a shush from Ms. Rogers. “Sorry,” Nepeta said, letting her voice drop. “Equius, you gotta ask her before someone else does! I don’t know why you’re so shy about liking her.”  
             “We are just… so different. I am not sure I can pluck up the courage.”  
             “Oh, I know what you mean. I want to ask Karkitty, but… I don’t think he’ll say yes.”  
             Equius stifled the urge to roll his eyes. Nepeta’s infatuation with Karkat was one he would never understand. “Mm, yes, quite a dilemma,” he muttered. Nepeta was quiet for a moment, apparently missing his heavy sarcasm.  
             “Oh! Oh oh oh!! I know!!”  
             “Nepeta, lower your voice.”  
             “Shoot, sorry. But, if you don’t ask Aradia and I don’t ask Karkat, maybe we could just go together!”  
             “As a date?”  
             “No, as furriends, silly!” Nepeta grinned at him. “It would be better than going alone.”  
             “I suppose you’re right. Very well, if our dates do not work out, we should attend together,” he agreed, and then the two of them went off to class.

 

             “Horuss, what are you doing about Homecoming?” Equius asked his brother when they arrived at home that afternoon. Horuss was smiling, but his eyes looked morose.  
             “I assume Rufioh and I are going together, though I have yet to discuss the details with him.” Equius shifted to get a better look at his brother. Horuss let out a sigh. “Rufioh seems… distant lately. Like he’s beginning to tire of me. I… worry I have become too clingy.”  
             “Is your concern that he may break up with you?” Horuss nodded morosely. Equius let out a sigh, not sure how he could help his brother. Neither of them seemed to be very good with romance. “Might I ask, how is it that Father finds you dating a Nitram to be acceptable, but for me to have feelings for Miss Droog is not? The Nitrams are barely more well-off.” Horuss looked up sharply at Equius in a way that was not common at all for Horuss, and Equius couldn’t help but wither a bit at his brother’s gaze.  
             “Father was too busy coping with the fact that I am gay to address the problems of who I am gay _with.”_ Equius immediately regretted asking.

 

              The next day, Equius’ table was joined by four students he couldn’t say he had much interaction with. There was a girl with pale blonde hair he somewhat recognized from their shared Biology class, and a boy with buck teeth and glasses that he recognized from some other class, but the other two were unfamiliar. The boy with the glasses spoke out first as they all approached the table.  
            “Hey Karkat!”  
            “I’m sorry, did I fucking invite you to sit here, Egbert?” Karkat snarled back. It was exactly that kind of vitriol and profanity that seasoned Equius’ distaste for Karkat, and it was only all the more frustrating knowing Nepeta was exposed to that behavior outside of school as well. Equius turned to see who was approaching. …  
            “Oh fuck no, you three?” the blonde boy said, looking at Karkat, Gamzee, and Tavros. “These are the pricks from my Spanish class.”  
            “Come on, Dave, Karkat isn’t so bad!”  
            And without another word, John, Dave, Rose, and Jade were welcomed additions to their lunchtime camaraderie. Equius didn’t make a point to talk to most of them. Jade seemed interesting; his ears burned when she mentioned the “dreambot” her grandfather constructed for her, but he already had too many friends to keep up with.

            A few weeks passed, and then the inevitable happened: Feferi got excited about Homecoming.  
            “Boys, who’re you all gonna ask? Or have you already?” Equius’ face flushed. Aradia hadn’t been joining them for lunch time as of late, but he still knew if he said something in front of this particular group of people, word was sure to get back to her.  
            “I ain’t asking nobody, gonna go with my motherfuckin’ self and have a good time,” Gamzee said. It was only fitting he would be the one to break the awkward silence that had settled across the table. Feferi looked at him, eyes wide.  
            “O-oh… um, what about you, Karkat?”  
            “Don’t put me on the spot! What about you, princess? Who are you going with?”  
            “Oh, I already told Eridan I would go with him,” Feferi answered, still smiling as much as ever.  
            “Not worth the time. He’s such a fucking pain; I can’t believe I ever dated him,” Vriska sneered.  
            “Because you were so fuckin’ peachy, right Vris?!” Eridan snapped back at her. This was exactly the reason Equius didn’t want to get involved with crushes; so many of his friends were so dramatic about dating and whatnot. But he couldn’t help it. Something about Aradia was so alluring. Maybe it was the fact that she was so low on the social hierarchy; something that, according to his father, he wasn’t allowed to have. And that only made him want it more.  
            “Eridan, hush,” Feferi attempted to soothe him. “He’s not so bad. Anyway, what about you, John?”  
            “I, uh…” John mumbled, and then Rose stepped in to rescue him.  
            “John and I will be attending together. He never got up the nerve to ask anyone, and neither did I.” That was the first thing anyone had said that day that Equius could actually relate to. He’d been tripping over asking Aradia for weeks, and still hadn’t managed to do it. It was only a matter of time before she was already taken, and he’d be escorting Nepeta because there was no way Karkat was going to say yes to her. Equius supposed that was the benefit of having a friend as close with him as Nepeta was; at least he wouldn’t be going alone.  
            “‘S cool, bro,” Dave said. “I wasn’t going to ask anyone to be my date either. I’m with Gamzee on that one.”  
            “Yeahhhh,” Gamzee murmured, extending his fist to Dave from across the table. Equius couldn’t believe Gamzee’s behavior sometimes; for someone who was supposed to be of an even higher class than Equius, Gamzee sure didn’t act like it.  
            “As much fun as a date would be, I thought we could all just go as friends!” Jade said, and then she gave a sly grin. “Buuuuut, I’m still curious. Who would you ask, Tavros?”  
            “Uhm… I was going to ask… um… this girl, from English class. Uh, how about you, Equius?” Equius suddenly inherited Tavros’ embarrassment, and, by simply knowing word would likely get back to Aradia, Equius felt a certain amount of reticence about telling Feferi and the others the truth of his crush. He felt a knowing glance from Vriska, but still refrained from saying anything too specific.  
            “I was… going to ask someone. But, if she says no I will go with Nepeta.” Nepeta lightly punched his arm, and Equius looked over at her in mild surprise.  
            “You butt! I’m your second choice?” she said.  
            “I believed that was our arrangement…” Equius muttered to himself.  
            “Naw, it is. I’m just teasing.”And as usual, Equius couldn’t help but smile at Nepeta’s antics. There was a reason they’d stuck together through so many years. 

            Equius and Nepeta parted from the rest of their friends, and Equius couldn’t help but let out a sigh. How was he supposed to work up the nerve? Every part of him told him he shouldn’t even have such… lewd feelings for Aradia.  
            “What’s wrong, Equius?” Nepeta asked.  
            “I am just nervous about asking Miss Droog to the dance.”  
            “If you don’t huuuuurryyyyyy, Sollux is gonna beat you to it!” Equius let out another sigh as Nepeta giggled to herself. It truly wasn’t helping to bring his spirits up. “Aw, I’m sorry, Equius.”  
            “You’re right, though. She and Mister Captor have an… interesting dynamic.” They always had. It seemed like, at least to Equius, that his feelings were likely very much unrequited.  
            “You need to go for it, Eq.” Nepeta’s commentary was beginning to weigh on Equius’s patience.  
            “I know this. However, I am not sure how to go about it.”  
            “Well… I don’t know! Maybe you could paint her something,” Nepeta suggested.  
            Equius pondered this for a moment. “That is… not a bad idea. Perhaps I will take my time in the art room after school today.” He tapped his chin thoughtfully for a moment, and then looked back at Nepeta. “Are you going to ask Mister Vantas soon?”  
            “Why are you so formal about everything? Calling everyone ‘Miss’ or ‘Mister’?”  
            “It is how I was raised; it is polite.”  
            “You don’t call me ‘Miss Leijon’.”  
            “Well… no. Not anymore.” It was true that Equius had called her ‘Miss Leijon’ for a long time after they’d first met, but Nepeta got so impertinent and insistent that such formalities were unnecessary that he’d dropped it. It was actually when she told him that calling her by her first name would make their friendship feel more genuine and mutual. Maybe that was why everyone else thought him to be so odd. And then it struck Equius what Nepeta had done—completely avoided his question. “And it just occurred to me that you did not actually answer my question—are you going to ask Mister Vantas soon?”  
            “I guess I have to! I’m gonna try later tonight…” Nepeta’s voice trailed.

             After school, the two parted ways and Equius kept true to his word, taking much care in his painting that afternoon. Rusty reds and indigo and dark black paints stained his palette, quickly accompanied by bright yellows for the lights and metallically painted décor, until he had a beautiful painting of him and Aradia, already dancing under the lights together, and painted on in ornate lettering below their figures, ‘Will you go to Homecoming with me?’ He grinned, more than satisfied with his work, and knew it was only a matter of time before the right time struck to show her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOPS ITS BEEN AGES SINCE I POSTED ANYTHING
> 
> ok so like i've been going through so much shit that seriously fucked with my mental health and i truly thought this was going to be where the series ended but i wanna do better for myself and do more things I like and actually finish projects; i like writing, and i wanna finish this so I'm gonna try to get back into it! honestly i don't expect many people to read it bc like Homestuck is fucking dead but i gotta do it for me lmao. anyway yes i have a lot of equius' story written and some of dave's started so here we go


	4. Sweaty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Equius struggles with his crush, but still manages to get a dance.

            Feferi ran up to Equius at school the next day, a wide smile on her face. Equius raised an eyebrow at her, some sense of dread rising through him. Feferi either had really good news or really bad news, as she had her ear tilted towards gossip at all times and had no qualms about sharing it. Whether she meant to be malicious or not, this often resulted in hurt feelings and misunderstandings.  
            “Hey Equius!! I just wanted to ask if you’d like to come over to my place before Homecoming! I thought we could all get together and take some pictures and then go get dinner.  
            “Ah. Yes, that sounds lovely.”  
            “And anyone you ask to come with you is welcome to join!” Equius blushed furiously, not able to come up with an answer. “I told everyone the same thing, but I think it’s still going to end up being the same group of people. Sollux told me he finally asked Aradia out!” And then Equius paled.  
            “He did?”  
            “Mhm!” Feferi nodded, still smiling wide. But Equius, he couldn’t even fake a smile. His heart had just been utterly shattered, and after another moment, Feferi seemed to understand this. “Oh… you were going to ask her, weren’t you.”  
            “I…” Well, there was no point in attempting to keep it a secret anymore. “Well. Yes.”  
            Feferi gave him a sort of odd-looking smile, and Equius found himself blushing again.  
            “Don’t give up on her, Equius,” she said, before bounding off to her mother’s car. Equius still mulled over it, though, letting it dwell in his mind, until Nepeta messaged him over the weekend.

 

 

arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

 AC: hi equius!!  
AC: howre things going with asking aradia out?  
CT: Ah.  
CT: Actually, it seems you were correct.  
CT: I spent too long twiddling my thumbs over it and I was informed that she already has a date for the evening.  
AC: awwww :(  
AC: i’m sorry, equius  
CT: It is no matter.  
CT: I’m sure the dance will be enjoyable nonetheless.  
CT: How are things going for you?  
AC: uhhhhhhmmmmm  
AC: about the same i guess  
AC: apparently karkitty is going to the dance with terezi  
CT: Ah, I see.  
AC: so i get to go with you, sweatquius!  
CT: Actually, I was contacted by Miss Peixes about the dance.  
CT: Apparently she is having a get-together of sorts beforehand, for pictures and dinner.  
AC: :O!!!!  
AC: that sounds fun!!  
CT: I figured you would say that.  
CT: I told her we would go.  
AC: ahhh okay!!  
AC: that sounds good.  
AC: anyway i need to go equius, we’re all going to the mall to get our dresses!  
CT: Who exactly is ‘we all’?  
AC: me and meu and kanaya and Porrim  
AC: also karkat kankri and cronus  
AC: but they’re not getting dresses  
CT: Of course.  
CT: I will let you go, then.  
CT: Oh, but please do send me a picture of your dress.  
AC: oh okay!!  
AC: will do :3 

arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased pestering centaursTesticle

 

            Equius huffed a bit. The dance was soon, and he still wasn’t sure about the whole thing. He’d let himself down drastically by not asking Aradia out, which was something he was already conflicted about even wanting to do, and it all sort of made him not even want to go to the dance. But he’d already promised Nepeta that they would go, because she loved social events like that and he was providing the comfort he could that Karkat was attending with someone else. Letting Nepeta down would only make Equius feel worse about himself; even more disappointed. So Equius went to do what he always did to calm himself down. He poured himself a cold glass of milk and drank it down, and then went into the garage, which doubled as a workspace for his and Horrus’s various robotics projects. He usually left his phone aside, lest it be affected by the heat when he welded, but today he was mostly refining things, like tightening screws. His small robots never seemed to hold much intelligence though. He was very skilled at assembly, but not at getting robots to actually accomplish tasks. They mostly became punching bags he could fight without destroying them. It wasn’t too long before Equius received another message from Nepeta.

 

arsenicCatnip [AC] began pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

 -- arsenicCatnip [AC] sent photo to centaursTesticle [CT] --

CT: Green and blue.  
CT: Seems appropriate.  
CT: Though, do you mind if I switched them around?  
AC: hmm???  
CT: The dress.  
CT: It’s green with blue embellishments.  
CT: I would prefer to wear blue with green embellishments.  
AC: oh!  
AC: wear whatever you want, equius!!  
CT: It is customary for couples to color-coordinate.  
AC: ummmm hey big stinky butt  
AC: we’re not a couple :P  
CT: I am aware of this, but we are attending together, no?  
AC: yessssss  
AC: im not saying it wouldnt be cute to match, but you dont have to if you dont wanna!  
CT: Well, I would like to.  
AC: well then i wont stop you!!

arsenicCatnip [AC] has ceased pestering centaursTesticle [CT]

 

            So that was settled. Equius left the garage and went to peruse his closet. Hopefully there was something in there he could use to match Nepeta’s dress. True, he owned plenty of blue clothing that would match the accents in Nepeta’s dress, but most of his button-downs were from the early days of middle school. It was unlikely that they would still fit. And of course he was right, and his shirts didn’t fit him. The logical course of action was to ask Horrus to borrow something, but Horrus wasn’t around and Equius was truly tired of stressing himself out over the dance, so he went into his father’s closet instead. He went through, quickly pilfering a deep blue shirt, along with an olive green bowtie. His father had so many dress clothes, Equius doubted he would even notice the items missing. And if he did… well, Equius would just have to deal with that as it came. It wasn’t like him to disobey his father or take things without asking, but he was beginning to question his father’s all-encompassing rules and his very… particular worldview. Besides, it wasn’t as if he wasn’t going to return them. He, at the very least, still had a black jacket of his own to pair with the ensemble.

 

            And then the next weekend, it was the dance. Equius still felt a certain amount of apprehension as he left the car, telling Aurthour he would call for him, and made his way into the Peixes mansion. Horrus walked alongside him, looking equally nervous. They exchanged a glance before splitting off to their separate friend groups. It was somewhat amazing that the yard was so large it could accommodate two large groups for pictures.  
            “Hello, Miss Peixes,” Equius smiled at Feferi. “Thank you for hosting us.”  
            “It’s my pleasure, Equius!”  
            It was hardly another moment before Equius saw Nepeta sprinting towards him. She took a running leap and landed in his arms, hugging him.  
            “Hi!!” Nepeta said with a grin.  
            “You must stop jumping at me like that,” Equius muttered at her. It seemed inappropriate. But Nepeta merely nodded towards her sister, who was having a similar interaction with Kurloz Makara.  
            “Sorry, Equius, looks like it runs in the family. Get used to it.” Still, Equius set Nepeta down, and she turned to the crowd of adults. “Hey, where’s your dad?”  
            Equius faltered. Sometimes he forgot about how observant Nepeta could be. Truth be told, he didn’t _know_ exactly where his dad was. He hadn’t even thought about it. The house was often empty and quiet so it wasn’t like Equius even realized when his dad was gone some of the time. But when Nepeta said it, and when he looked at nearly everyone else’s parents, it felt _wrong._ There had been so many moments in his life that his father hadn’t been present for; things he pointlessly relegated to Aurthour. But Aurthour was not a parent, he was an employee. And Equius realized that… his father just didn’t _care_ to be there for him. He was hardly even there for Equius’ mother, who was slowly, slowly dying. It was such a startling realization that he simply blinked at Nepeta for a moment before finally answering.  
            “He… uh, couldn’t me it tonight. He had a prior engagement. I believe something for work.”  
            “Ohh…” Equius could hear her pity, and that almost felt worse than the fact that his father was absent. 

            Everything went on as normal for the night. They took pictures; they had dinner; they went to the dance. Equius wasn’t sure what to make of a lot of it; he really came as a formality. But he was good at formalities, up until Nepeta managed to drag him onto the dance floor. Then, he managed to stop faking it and _actually_ have a good time. If nothing else, he had Nepeta. That was one friend he knew he could count on. Until the DJ called for a slow dance. His eyes darted towards Nepeta, who was still simply beaming at him.  
            “Excuse me for a moment, Nepeta,” he said, and skirted through the crowd towards the wall, spotting Aradia and Sollux at a table as he did so. But of course Nepeta followed, despite his embarrassment.  
            “What’s wrong, Equius?” she asked.  
            He knew there was no point in avoiding the topic; Nepeta was not the type to drop things, especially if she knew Equius was unhappy. So he conceded. “I… wanted to ask Aradia to dance with me.”  
            “So?? Go do it!”  
            “You don’t understand, Nepeta, the mere _idea_ od speaking with her makes me nervous beyond belief. She is… interesting… different. I feel almost as though, I shouldn’t even be having these feelings for her.”  
            “Equiusssss, you’re overthinking things!”  
            “Her family… they are just so… low.” As soon as he said it, Equius regretted it. Not only was he trying to mend this mindset, it also got him a swat on the shoulder from Nepeta, who was scowling at him.  
            “Who cares about that! Money and class and all that? It doesn’t matter.”  
            “You would say that.”  
            “Can you stop and listen to me for once? Just _ask_ her to dance. She might surprise you.”  
            Equius forced himself to take Nepeta’s words to heart and let out a small breath, turning towards Nepeta to face her properly. “Do you really think so?”  
            “I think… and call me crazy, BUT. You won’t know unless you try. Duh.”  
            Equius took another breath and straightened out his tie. “Fine, fine. When this goes over poorly, I will be back to speak to you about it.”  
            “Just _gooooooo,_ you big dummy!” Nepeta urged, just before taking matters into her own hands and pushing Equius away from the wall. He raised his hands in a gesture of surrender, and after Nepeta pushed him off, he continued on his walk towards Sollux and Aradia’s table, feeling his heart jackhammering in his chest. As he approached, he caught the tail end of their conversation.  
            “…front. It’s a little too busy out there for me. I think I’m done dancing for the night.”  
            “If that’s the case, might I enjoy a dance with the lady?” Wow, that somehow sounded so much smoother than Equius felt. Even just asking the question was enough to make him blush. And much to his surprise, Aradia stood up and joined him with just a short look back at Sollux.  
            If there was one thing Equius was aware of, it was that he was much larger, both in height _and_ broadness, and that large boys were not typically expected to dance well. But dancing was something he enjoyed very much as a child, and it was something his mother greatly encouraged. So for him to spin around the crowd and twirl Aradia around him was a small, simple feat, but seemed to greatly impress her.  
            “I couldn’t help but notice you tonight. You look quite stunning in that dress, if I may say so, Miss Droog.” It was a good thing Equius was good at hiding his discomfort in awkward situations, because his words were so much more articulate when he spoke than when he thought them.  
            “Wow. Um, thanks,” Aradia said, but it was clear that she wasn’t sure what to make of the situation. He kept his mouth closed for the rest of the dance, lest he put his foot in it, granting Aradia only a small “thank you” when she departed to return to her table. He smiled to himself a bit, then returned to Nepeta, who had once again found a place on the dance floor. She instantly narrowed in on his smile.  
            “Well you’re in a good mood!” she grinned at him.  
            “I got to dance with her! Ah, Nepeta, I should heed your advice more often.”  
            “Oh, go figure,” Nepeta said, sticking her tongue out at Equius. More often than not, he knew she was right. Nepeta was much more skilled about traversing relationships and their complications; even simple friendships when hurdles were presented.

            At some point in the evening, though, Aradia vanished. And Equius couldn’t help but feel some semblance of guilt. Everything had been fine before he danced with her. What if he just ruined the dance for her? Suddenly, his high came crashing down on him, and he couldn’t have possibly felt worse about himself.


	5. In the Closet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Equius finally calls in a favor

        Equius was, once again, dwelling in his own thoughts about things with Aradia. He couldn’t help but feel as though he’d lost his only chance with her. Why had she suddenly vanished? It seemed obvious that he’d done something wrong. That was the only logical explanation, wasn’t it? And at this point he was honestly just too embarrassed to talk to Nepeta about it again, so he went to the only other source he had.

 

centaursTesticle [CT] began pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

CT: Vriska.  
AG: Whaaaaaaaat?  
AG: Also Christ you really do need to change your username.  
AG: It sounds like an 11 year old made it and was trying to be crass for no reason other than “wow bad words are funny”.  
CT: I WAS 11 when I made it.  
CT: What’s wrong with it anyway?  
AG: Uh  
AG: Nevermind.  
AG: What do you want?  
CT: I am asking for you to finally repay that favor.  
AG: Ughhhhhhhh.  
AG: If I say yes, will you stop holding this “favor” over my head?  
CT: Yes.  
AG: Then yes.  
AG: What do you want me to do?  
CT: I…  
CT: I don’t know specifically.  
AG: Then I can’t help you, horse-for-brains.   
CT: I just want you to manufacture a way for Aradia and I to be alone.  
AG: Okaaaaaaaay.  
AG: I guess I’ll try to keep an eye out for an opportunity.  
AG: Hard for me to really do anything about it at school.  
CT: I see.  
CT: Very well.  
CT: I will speak to you more about this later.

 centaursTesticle [CT]  ceased pestering arachnidsGrip [AG]

 

            Equius knew Vriska was smart; she had her ways. He tried not to worry too much about it, but Aradia’s sudden disappearance from their lunch table was only too noticeable, and it kept Equius’ mind on her.   
           “Hey, guys, my parents are out of town, so I was thinking of, having a Halloween party, at my house maybe?” It came so suddenly and from the most unexpected person that the shift in conversation felt oddly jarring to Equius. Or maybe it was that he was so often inside his own head that he found conversation hard to maintain. Either way, his eyes snapped up to Tavros as Vriska laughed.  
            “That’s ballsy, Tavros. What happens if you get in trouble?”  
            “Ummmm, I don’t know… Rufioh’s in charge.”  
            “Ohhhhhhhh, no nosey neighbor babysitting this time?”  
            “I haven’t seen Mr. Boxcars around the last couple days. I think it should be fine.” Equius glanced over at Nepeta, who was scowling at Vriska. He gently placed a hand on her shoulder, reminding her not to lash out, despite Vriska’s abrasiveness.  
            “That sounds really fun, Tavros. It’s been a while since we all had a party,” Terezi said.  
            “I’ve been meaning to host more!” Feferi added. “I think the holiday season will be better for parties at my house.”  
            “Th-that’s okay, Fef, you shouldn’t have to host all the time,” Tavros said. “So, yeah, you guys are all invited over for Halloween.”  
            “Halloween sucks, though,” Sollux said. Equius hated to agree with him, but he did. Halloween was not as great a holiday as others made it seem. But after a moment, Sollux changed his tune. “Ah—fine, sounds like a plan, then.”  
            “Yeah? Oh… where’s Aradia?”  
            “Don’t look at me!” Sollux snipped. “I have no idea what her deal is.” Nepeta looked at Equius, who merely shrugged at her.  
            “Oh no… um… Nepeta, you have your next class with Aradia, right?”  
            “Yeah… we have P.E. together!”  
            “Could you, uh, do me a favor and tell her about the party?”  
            “Of course, Tavfurros!” Equius felt a tad relieved that Aradia would not be the sole member of the group left out of the party. Nepeta would reach out. She was so reliable that way. Lunch ended, and Equius and Nepeta started off towards class together.  
            “Nepeta.”  
            “Yessssss?”  
            “I have a request for you.”  
            “What is it.”  
            “Can you ask Aradia if she’s doing alright? We haven’t spoken since Homecoming. In fact, I don’t believe she’s had much contact with _anyone_ since Homecoming.”  
            “Why can’t you ask her yourself?”  
            “I just believed that since Tavros requested you to tell her about the party anyway, it would not be trouble for you. Besides, girls tend to speak to girls differently than they speak to boys. You tend to be more open with each other.”  
           “You big stink butt. I’m not going to hit on her for you!”  
            “That was not what I meant! You… gosh-darned sillyface. Please, just ask her how she’s doing.”  
            “Ughhhh, fine. But you owe me!”  
            “Of course,” Equius murmured. He knew Nepeta was just trying to get him to socialize more and talk to Aradia of his own volition. But truth be told, he was just so afraid that he’d been the one that drove her away from the dance, and she wouldn’t want to see him. It simply made more sense to send Nepeta on his behalf. And by all accounts, things seemed to go well. Nepeta told Equius that Aradia said she would come to the party, and Equius and Nepeta sure planned on going to the party, so they went out costume shopping that Friday. Equius found himself a tad bit overwhelmed by the vast selection and walked a few circles around the store until he just huffed and pulled a robot costume off the rack and took it to Nepeta.  
            “Do you think this is suitable?”  
            “I think….hmm. It’s a little tacky.”  
            “Hmm,” he murmured back at her, investigating the material inside the packaging. Perhaps she was right.  
            “Oh!! You could go as _Hawkeye!!”_ Nepeta exclaimed. Equius turned his attention back to her, quirking an eyebrow upwards.  
            “Pardon?”  
            “Hawkeye, like the Avenger? He’s even got a little bow and arrow, look,” Nepeta said, snatching a costume off the rack. He looked at Nepeta surreptitiously. He could never keep up with all the superhero films, though the ones he had seen with Nepeta were more than enjoyable.  
            “A superhero?”  
            “Kind offfff… We can be like a comic book duo! Even though they’re not from the same universe…”  
            “Nepeta, I am planning to ask Aradia out officially, on a date at this party. Which do you think would appeal more to her?” he said very quickly, worried he would still manage to chicken out. Nepeta grinned widely at him.  
            “Ahhhh! Equius, are you serious?!”  
            “Er… yes, of course.”  
            “Wear the Hawkeye one, superheroes always get the girl,” Nepeta said, waggling her eyebrows a bit. Equius felt a turn in his stomach, but still, he set his jaw. Very well, he thought to himself. He nodded curtly at Nepeta and hastily shoved the robot costume back onto the shelf.

            When he returned home from his outing with Nepeta, he found Horuss looking mildly distraught, which seemed to be a pattern as of late. At school, Horuss managed to maintain some façade of happiness, but once home, his smiles often dropped. Equius assumed there was some kind of problem with Rufioh.  
            “Equius, is your friend Tavros hosting a party for Halloween?”  
            “Er, yes,” Equius murmured to his brother.  
            “Ah, I see,” Horuss muttered, then looked back down at his phone. Equius opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off again. “You see, I asked Rufioh about his plans for the evening in hopes of spending it together, but he told me he would be busy watching Tavros.”  
            “I’m sorry,” Equius said, simply at a loss for anything else to say. Horuss pursed his lips, as though he were waiting for Equius to say something else, and when he didn’t, Horuss went back to his business. Equius did his best to put it out of his mind, retreating into his bedroom until his father summoned him for dinner.

 

            By the time Saturday arrived, Equius found himself feeling quite nervous about the party, and his intention to ask Aradia on a real date. He wasn’t sure he would have the courage to do it, but knew if he didn’t at least try, he would only spend more time being angry with himself. Thankfully, after his arrival to the Nitram house, Vriska finally made good on her word.  
            “Hey Eq, I think I have a solution to your problem.”  
            He felt himself stiffen at the mere sound of her voice. “What do you mean?”  
            “Well, we’re at a party, right? Suffice to say, I’ve engineered a party game.”  
            “I…”  
            “Equius!!” he heard Nepeta shout. He froze, wanting to ask more questions, but not wanting Nepeta to know he was in kahoots with Vriska. Despite her family’s social status, Vriska’s behavior could be mildly deplorable.  
            “Don’t worry, Zahhak, I got it covered,” Vriska said, just before stalking off.   
            “Ah… alright then,” he muttered to himself as she went around the corner. He took a small breath and turned to Nepeta, who had once again stolen his attention.  
            “Hey Eq! I told you that costume would look good. We almost kind of match. Maybe it would have been better if I were Black Widow…” Nepeta’s voice trailed for a moment, and then she abruptly changed the subject. “Hey, what’re you gonna do about asking Aradia out?”  
            Equius’ face flushed immediately. “Nepeta, hush!” he urged her.  
            “Relaaaaax, they can’t hear me over the music.”  
            “I have made an arrangement…”  
            “With Vriska?”  
            “Er… no.” Oh. He said that wholly on impulse. It wasn’t like him to lie to her, or to anyone, really, but this whole situation was throwing all his instincts off. He grew quiet for a while, the party more happening around him than him being an active participant. And then, the music faded, Vriska’s hand at the volume dial.  
            “Hey losers! Come on, we’re starting another game in here,” she said. Equius gulped, then walked into the other room where Vriska had everyone gathering. Once everyone followed, and their late arrivals joined them (John, Rose, Dave, and Jade), Vriska gathered their attention. “Alright, everyone, it’s time for 7 Minutes in Heaven!” As soon as she said that, Equius knew _exactly_ what she had articulated.  
            “Vriska, please, this is so ridiculous,” Sollux huffed. Equius wasn’t sure whether he wanted to agree with him or not. “Besides, what the fuck has this got to do with Halloween?”  
            “Shut your lispy mouth, asshat,” Vriska snipped back. “You don’t have to play, but there’s always the chance for some alone time with the freaky girl of your dreams.” Well, now she was just being cruel. If Vriska had done what Equius thought she’d done, then she _knew_ it wasn’t going to be Sollux that ended up in there. “I have taken the liberty of putting all the ladies’ names into this hat, and all the boys’ into Terezi’s. Tavros, if you would do the honors?”  
            Equius’ heart stopped as Tavros reached into Vriska’s hat. And then he said, “Um, Aradia…?” In a moment, Vriska was on Aradia, ushering her towards a nearby closet. And as Vriska announced the next name, Equius didn’t know what he wanted her to say.  
            “And our lucky guy is… Equius Zahhak!” That… was exactly what he expected. Okay, it was now or never. “I told you I had it under control,” she hissed in his ear as they went towards the closet. He couldn’t help but flinch as Vriska whisked the door shut behind him, and found himself sweating profusely in such close quarters. Neither of them spoke for a while, and then Aradia broke the silence.  
            “I had, uhm, a good time dancing with you at Homecoming,” Aradia said, looking at their feet. She did? Equius shuffled around a bit, nervousness overcoming him.  
            “Yes, it was quite nice. You looked...beautiful that night.” He felt himself move a bit closer to her.  
            “Really?” Why did she sound so surprised? Did Aradia truly not realize how beautiful she was? Words started coming more naturally to him.  
            “Yes, I was surprised that Mr. Captor did not wish to dance with you more.” Equius’ hands found themselves at her waist. Aradia looked up at him.  
            “Did he say something to you?”  
            “Not exactly, but I don’t believe he appreciates you as much as he should.” Aradia looked down, and Equius realized, in retrospect, the harshness of his words. It wasn’t anything he believed to be untrue, but it was entirely possible that it would hurt Aradia. It was impossible to read her expression in the dark of the closet, so Equius did the only thing he could think of-- he cupped Aradia’s chin, leaned in, and kissed her. “Miss Droog, I would be honored if you would accompany me on a date.”  
            “I-- what?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all sorry for a brief delay, i do have a minor backlog on this but spent the weekend having WAY TOO MUCH FUN AT FANIME


	6. Reminiscing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Equius recalls how he even got that favor from Vriska

            Just at that moment, Vriska whisked the closet door back open. Equius blushed, but didn’t move away from Aradia. Their audience slowly dissipated. Equius shifted his hand from her waist to her hand, but Aradia pulled away, drifting like a ghost into the next room. Instead of following, Equius locked eyes with Nepeta, and plopped onto the floor beside her.  
            “So did you ask her out?” Nepeta immediately asked. Equius glanced around the room, and saw it sufficiently empty.  
            “Yes.”  
            “What did she say?”  
            “She... didn’t say much of anything. I think it was a yes?” She certainly hadn’t said no.

            The rest of the party was uneventful. They watched a movie and went to bed-- at least, those who were able to stay did. And once he was home, Equius messaged Aradia to arrange the details of their date. It was a brief and slightly terse conversation, but it was done. Equius smiled to himself. For once, he was actually pleased about how things were going with Aradia, even if he knew he still couldn’t let his father know. And he couldn’t help but wonder if things would be different if his mother were… around more. From what little he could remember, she was always more supportive of Equius’ pursuit of the arts and all the more ‘sensitive’ pastimes he had that his father was more reluctant to let him explore. It was always archery or hockey or something along those lines. And it wasn’t as though Equius didn’t enjoy those things, but he would enjoy them a lot more if he were given the agency to choose for himself. And it was the same with dating. His father had very strict expectations on who they should and shouldn’t be with. He’d lightened just the slightest bit when Horuss came out, but Equius still couldn’t shake the years of indoctrination that the social hierarchy that was ever-present in Skaia was of the utmost importance. His father taught him that they were better than the majority of people in the town, and Equius was beginning to see how foolish that was, but it was still ingrained in his head. But he was still grateful for how things had developed, and though he wasn’t exactly close with Vriska, he had to acknowledge that this would have been impossible without her help. Her conniving ways articulated the whole evening for him. But, of course, he also knew that she wouldn’t have helped if she hadn’t owed him a favor.  
         Their families were close in social standing, as well as physical, since they were neighbors. So when Vriska was gone for a few days when they were in the 7th grade, it was more than a little noticeable. Equius was outside when Vriska finally returned from the hospital, cheap plastic with one stiff elbow joint replaced her arm and half of her shoulder. She glowered at Equius, who was staring at her as her sister ushered her inside. The next time he saw her, he once again gaped at her cheap prosthetic. Then, Vriska snapped.  
          “What are you gaping at, horseface?!”  
          “My apologies, I was simply--”  
          “Yeah, don’t even bother answering. I already know I’m a freak now.” Vriska looked down morosely and tried to move her stiff fake arm.  
          “What happened?”  
          “I...fell. Out of Terezi’s treehouse.”  
          “Ah,” Equius murmured, unsure of what else he could even say.  
          “Shit sucks!” Vriska shouted. Aranea, who had been supervising, had long since absconded into the house, leaving Vriska and Equius to their conversation over the fence. “Stupid plastic prosthetic.”  
          “I can fix it,” Equius blurted, without even really thinking. Vriska raised an eyebrow at him. He cleared his throat a bit. “I can make some improvements to your mobility. I’ve been experimenting with my robotics projects.”  
         Then, instead of looking mad, Vriska looked hopeful, or maybe even grateful. “You...you can fix my arm?” Equius just nodded at her. Vriska stared back at him, her eyes wide, until her mother called her into the house.

          It wasn’t long after that that Vriska came knocking, asking for his help. And Equius made good on his word and made the improvements to her prosthetic. Of course, this mostly meant making a whole new prosthetic. And, since Equius, even at 13 years old, wasn’t an idiot, he made Vriska agree to owe him a favor, and, albeit reluctantly, Vriska eventually agreed. This was the favor that he’d just called in; the favor that eventually worked out to get him his date with Aradia, a date he still couldn’t believe he even had.


	7. Horuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Horuss laments his relationship problems

            Horuss was good at pretending. He pretended to be happy, he pretended he was okay with how distant his father was, and he pretending things with Rufioh were still okay. The truth was that he knew they weren’t. Rufioh was acting oddly about things, but Horuss was so very much in love with him that it almost didn’t matter. Almost. Horuss pretended, like he always did, that every time Rufioh pushed him away, it wasn’t chipping away slowly at his heart. Maybe this was just his karma for moving in on someone else’s boyfriend. The day that Damara caught them was an ugly day. She was stronger than she looked. Rufioh’s attempts to distance himself resulted in her figuring out something was happening, and now Rufioh was distancing himself away from Horuss. If this were anything like the last time, Horuss should have been worried. But he wasn’t worried, he was just sad, and this sadness resulted in Horuss spending Halloween alone, which was enough to make even him drop his smile. There was truly only one other friend he could turn to in times like this.

 

cavalierTechnophilia [CT] began pestering alleycatCupid [AC]

 CT: Meulin?  
AC: yeah horhiss??  
CT: Are you terribly busy right now?  
CT: I’m afraid I’ve found myself alone tonight, and  
CT: I am not quite in a positive headspace.  
AC: oh… well i’m with kurloz  
CT: Ah, I see.  
CT: My apologies for the disturbance, then.  
AC: oh, no!  
AC: don’t be!!  
AC: what’s wrong?  
CT: Rufioh is busy tonight, watching all our siblings at their party.  
CT: I feel as though he does not want to be with me anymore.  
AC: that’s ridiculous.

             Horuss refrained from huffing at his screen. How could Meulin have more faith in his relationship than he did? Well, she and Kurloz made it look so easy, didn’t they?

AC: why don’t you come ofur here?  
AC: we can hang out all three of us

            What, so he could be the third wheel? He didn’t exactly care for the idea, but it was still more appealing than spending the rest of the night alone and sad.

 CT: Are you sure?  
AC: yeah!  
CT: Okay, I will be there shortly then.

cavalierTechnophilia [CT] ceased pestering alleycatCupid [AC]

 

            When Horuss arrived at the Makara home and descended into the basement that had become Kurloz’s bedroom, Meulin grinned wide at him, and he couldn’t even force himself to grin back. Meulin gave him a hug, then dropped back into Kurloz’s lap. Horuss took the beanbag opposite them.  
            “Come on, Horuss, you’re with friends now! Where’s your smile?” Horuss glanced up at her and flashed a wide, fake smile, but could only hold it for a moment. He looked down at the floor again, morose. Meulin stood up, shuffled around for a moment, then spoke again without returning to her seat. “So what’s going on?”  
            Horuss knew he couldn’t ignore a direct question. He had to at least address the situation.  
            “I’m not sure. Rufioh just seems distant as of late. I’m not quite sure what I did.”  
            “Rufioh’s purrobably just dealing with other stuff! Don’t sweat it, Horuss.” Damn her endless optimism. Even with what the universe had thrown at her, Meulin never failed to look for a silver lining. Meulin paced back to the beanbag. Horuss lookedup at her just in time for her tot blow a plume of smoke in his face. His eyes tracked the pipe as Meulin passed it off to Kurloz. Meulin’s face crumpled as Kurloz struggled to take a hit. “I should have rolled a joint instead, huh Kur? Sorry.” The three of them paused for a moment, Kurloz and Meulin both turning to look at Horuss. “Do you want to try?” Meulin asked, offering the pipe to him. Drugs? Horuss’ father might _actually_ kill him if he knew he was doing drugs. But still, Horuss accepted.  
            “Well, I suppose one time couldn’t hurt…” Horuss said. Meulin handed him the joint, he took a puff in, then spluttered out a cough.

 

            Time passed, but Meulin never shifted from Kurloz’s lap. Horuss couldn’t help but feel like he was looking in on them from the outside. Meulin was stroking her thumb along Kurloz’s stitches.  
            “Do you ever wonder what we’d be like if that hadn’t happened?” Meulin asked. Kurloz signed something quickly at her, and Horuss watched as a wide grin spread across her face. “AWWWWW!” she squealed, tugging Kurloz into a  
tight hug and signing back at him. Horuss raised an eyebrow at the two of them.  
            “What did he say?” Horuss asked, wanting desperately to be in on whatever was going on.  
            “That he _loooooves_ me,” Meulin grinned.  
            “Man,” Horuss muttered. What he wouldn’t gie for that kind of reciprocated affection. “You two are so lucky that you can just say that and not worry about it.” Horuss paused, trying to suppress his feelings; to not give away too much about how he was struggling with his own relationship. But he failed to keep himself contained. “D’you know what it’s like to be so utterly infatuated with someone and not be able to say anything about it? Because. I’m definitely in love with Rufioh. And I don’t think _he_ loves _me.”_  
            “Whaaaat?”  
            “Yeah. And…” Horuss paused again. It wasn’t just an emotional connection he was craving, either. He wanted a physical one, too. He’d never been with anyone in that way, but he knew Rufioh had, so why didn’t Rufioh want to initiate that sort of thing in their relationship?  
            “And what?” Meulin asked. Horuss felt his cheeks flush in embarrassment. This was such an odd topic to broach, even with his best friend. But he didn’t know who else to turn to for advice on that particular subject.  
            “Meulin, you’re my best friend, can I ask you something personal?”  
            “Uhm… I guess!”  
            Horuss was suddenly very aware that Kurloz was there, and he, unlike Meulin, was _not_ deaf. And even though Horuss was friends with both of them, Kurloz could be just the slightest bit intimidating. So Horuss hesitated for a moment as he asked his next question.  
            “When did you two start… being physical? Was it after you said ‘I love you’ for the first time?”  
            “Yeah! I think love is an important part of sex, at least for the first time,” Meulin said, sounding quite sure of himself. Horuss looked down  
            “Oh, fiddlesticks… I suppose there are some things I should talk to Rufioh about,” he muttered, reaching for his phone. Meulin put her hand over his.  
            “Okay, but don’t worry about that right now; we’re gonna watch some movies.” Horuss nodded, but shortly after Kurloz put the second movie on, Hruss could no longer stand being the third wheel, so he gave his goodbyes and left. Once back home, he sank into his own thoughts. It much have been his own fault that the relationship was failing. He couldn’t even bring himself to discuss it with Rufioh until the following morning.

 

cavalierTechnophilia [CT] began pestering amiableTorchbearer [AT]

CT: Rufioh?  
CT: I am aware you were watching your brother and his friends last night  
CT: And may be a bit tired  
CT: But there was something that I would really like to speak with you about.

             Horuss waited for what felt like ages, but Rufioh didn’t answer.

 CT: Perhaps Pesterchum is not the best way to reach you.  
AT: oh, no, sorry doll  
AT: i was just talking to tav  
CT: Oh.  
CT: Well, that being the case…  
CT: Er…  
AT: what’s up?  
CT: I just missed you last night.  
CT: I had been hoping we would spend Halloween together.  
AT: sorry  
CT: Ah, no, it’s okay, Rufioh.  
CT: I just…  
AT: what did you want to talk about?  
CT: I…  
CT: Maybe it would be better to talk in person.  
AT: i can’t, mom and dad are still gone  
AT: i have to keep an eye on tavros  
CT: Oh.  
CT: I just thought  
CT: Maybe we could spend a day together.  
AT: er  
AT: yeah maybe when my parents get home  
CT: Hmm.  
AT: so…  
AT: what was it you wanted to talk about?  
CT: Well, you see, I was with Meulin and Kurloz last night.  
AT: that’s what i figured  
CT: And they were talking about… physicality.

            Not _entirely_ true, but it was way easier to broach the subject, rather than telling Rufioh it was _him_ who had brought it up; _him_ that was curious.

 AT: right…  
CT: And I…um  
CT: Well, I was thinking that,  
CT: We’ve been together for a few months,  
CT: And I do love you, Rufioh, I truly do.  
CT: I know it seems foalish.  
CT: Ah—foolish!  
CT: To say that, as we are so young.  
CT: But it’s true, and I thought that maybe,  
CT: That is to say,  
CT: I was hoping you would be my first.

             There. He’d said it. He’d put it out there. Once again, Horuss’ message was met with a very long pause, one that made him doubt that bringing it up at all had been a good idea in the first place. And then, finally, Rufioh answered.

 AT: er  
AT: yeah…  
AT: i think maybe we DO need to talk in person  
CT: Oh?  
AT: just…  
AT: i’ll figure out when i can  
CT: Um.  
CT: Alright.  
AT: sorry

 amiableTorchbearer [AT] ceased pestering cavalierTechnophilia [CT]

             Horuss blinked at his screen. That certainly wasn’t the response he’d been hoping for. But, then again, Rufioh _had_ agreed to at least talk about it. Yeah. That was good, right? So, Horuss smiled, once again forcing himself into naïve optimism.

**Author's Note:**

> hmm equius is gonna be a toughy to write tbh also sorry for the wait my life has been eternally in limbo lmao


End file.
